Flooring Fanatic T-Shirts

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

The corporate merger of Plushy's Carpeting and Sticky's Velcro was not a success.

'That was some varnish remover!'

Carpets and truckpets.

Shoe addict.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

Tee for Two!

"Doctor Scholl and Mr. Hyde."

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

Cutting Toenails.

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

Mischievous Pets

I warned you to keep it low!

'We wanted to maintain the integrity of the original house.'