Flooring Fanatic Pillows

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

The corporate merger of Plushy's Carpeting and Sticky's Velcro was not a success.

'That was some varnish remover!'

We had to stop - there's beautiful hardwood under the subfloor.

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

Dang, I dropped that mole, too …. I've got to get a new floor covering…

Your motto is to buy a new rug every day? Yeah, "carpet diem"!

Carpets and truckpets.

Shoe addict.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

"Doctor Scholl and Mr. Hyde."

Tee for Two!

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

Ten business commandments, city trading floor