Floor Fort Lover Gifts

"Are you sure this is a staycation!"

Deforestation.

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

Fox hunting.

"Hey! I know a howl of derision when I hear one!"

Living with a cataholic.

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

Spotted Owl Migration

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

"The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor."

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

Eyes on the Forest Floor

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"Oh, I'll bet you just LOVED that, didn't you?"

"By all means, go ahead! At this point, it's just in the way!"

"I had some upsetting news today… 'Fish gotta swim, Birds gotta fly'."

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?"

'I envisioned them praying to something entirely different.'

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

'I hear the Met office is predicting further Arctic weather conditions.'

Do bears take drug tests in the woods?

Kitchen Tiling.