Forest Lover Gifts

'We are communicating better, but we are still not out of the woods.'

'I miss the good ol' days when a bear could actually 'you know what' in the woods!'

Oak Tree

Bob had trouble connecting with nature, whereas nature seemed to have no trouble at all connecting with Bob.

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

Eyes on the Forest Floor

'Ahhhh...it almost smells like our bathroom air freshener.'

"Oh, I'll bet you just LOVED that, didn't you?"

"Lungs of the Planet, Eh?"

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

In case of emergency break glass.

'He started to ask questions about his biological parents.'

Bush announces new strategy for dealing with forest fires.

'Are we indoors or outdoors?'

Deforestation.

"Goddamn it Randy, the constitution gives us the right to bear arms..."

'Hey! We're pine beetles. Ed! I get it!. . . Could you stop chewing with your mouth open?'

Spotted Owl Migration

"I see Bradshaw got the chop."

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

'Not since that one tree got a restraining order.'

"No, kids, Grandma isn't 'way older' than these trees."

Tree Surgeon

"By all means, go ahead! At this point, it's just in the way!"

"Your cell phone is ringing, Bert!"

Fox hunting.

"Of course - we wait forever, then come at the same time,"

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

Do bears take drug tests in the woods?

'Okay, let's put the sign right here. Cut down some trees so everyone can see it!'

"Hey! I know a howl of derision when I hear one!"

"Why couldn't you be a doctor's note or a legal document like your brother?"

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

The king wants his new bedroom furniture made exclusively from these trees. So he wants to rest on his laurels!