Flood Fortitude Gifts

'Well, you always wanted to move from the neighborhood.'

"We'll always have Paris..."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Planning for flooding - 'Well, we'll cross that bridge when come to it.'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

Climate Change Contingency House

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

Chelsea flower show sewage

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'Should we upgrade the levees or just go hydroponic?'

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

'It's the plumber ... '

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'

Master Plumber

Noah's Ark

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'