Flood Fortifier Gifts

Planning for flooding - 'Well, we'll cross that bridge when come to it.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"We'll always have Paris..."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"You overwatered the plant, again."

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

421AD...north east Italy

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

Chelsea flower show sewage

Safe harbour

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'Should we upgrade the levees or just go hydroponic?'

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

'It's the plumber ... '

Noah's Ark slugs.

Master Plumber

'Oy! Don't you realise there's a hosepipe ban?'

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

"I need backup on 'D' Wing — they've built another den!"

'This place has been bailed out more often than Greece.'

''Go with the flow' may be a bad way to put it.'

'When I said you should improve security I meant put a latch on the door.'

Pet fish flooding the house.

"Hi, I'm your new neighbour. I work as a maintenance engineer on the Thames Flood Barrier."