Flirtatious Socialite T-Shirts

'My favorite position? Chairman of the Board.'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"The club scene is really changing."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

The party, after you left

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

'You had me at Hello... copter hat.'

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

'You look like a fun guy!'

Oh no! Here comes another lecture on the joys of loft living!

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

"This martini in canonical."

"I shall never forget Roger."

"Come on, smile, it's for our food blog..."

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

Bargoyles

"You're welcome to stay, but the household goes all nude after 9pm."

Golf club to putter: 'Leave the driving to us.'

"You're the strong, silent type. I like that in a man."

"I've always had a thing for women with big....hair!"

". . . and so the wife says to me. . . Earl she said, you really have to stop talking to strangers."

'Sure - I'm all for YOUR party, sweetheart, where is it and when is it?'

"Is he bothering you?"

'Don't bother Daddy — he just got blackballed from the Hanseatic League.'

"Guys' heads are like rooms. They look much bigger when they're empty."

'Please meet my dear wife, my very dear wife.'

"Believe me.... it's times like these that your pedigree comes into question!"

OPTIMISTS' CLUB, 'They said they never expected ME to show up.'