Ironic Socialite T-Shirts

Why is no one accepting my friend requests? The Facebook page of Dorian Gray.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'

"At work, they call me benchmark."

Sorry, formal only.

"Personally, I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables..."