Flea Terminator Gifts

In Memorium: The Flea Powder Massacre 2018

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Fleas talk about their life aboard cats..."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

A Change of Scene.

Aedes and Coronavirus perfect storm

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

Flies up the ante!

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

"These door hinges squeak."

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

Drone Spray