Termites Terminator Gifts

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

Aedes and Coronavirus perfect storm

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Flies up the ante!

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

Drone Spray

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"These door hinges squeak."

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

Superintendent

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

'I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!'