Flatmate Finder Pillows

I don't know about you, but I find it impossible to find flatmates...

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Ready Mum?'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

Hot New Talk Shows!

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'When it said in her profile that she's a cosmo girl, I had something entirely different in mind!'

"It all happened so fast. I met him online three years ago."

'Last time I share-house with a Wookie!'

'I guess the transplant went ok - I just got a love letter from my new liver!'

'I'm in trouble now, I told this cute little terrier that I was a pedigree and now she wants to see my kennel club papers'

"We met online, it was love at first site."

"Hey! Your ad said 'non-smoker!"

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

'Here we've both been, breaking our necks to meet the right person, and BAM!'

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

"I'm looking for a long-distance relationship."

Computer dating.

"Ha ha, I guess my photo on the dating site may have been a little misleading."

Chaplain Speedo: speed dating, express marriage, quick counseling, overnight divorce. Drive Thru.

'For a romantic anniversary I thought we'd go back to where we first met.'

Date Time. Maybe an online dating site is not the best place to search for an honest person, Diogenes.

"And you're sure this is a recent photo?"

"I have to admit you look a lot different in person."

'You look exactly like your website.'

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"