Flashy Gardener T-Shirts

'I decided to pimp my wheelbarrow.'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Okay, dig that one up!

Beginning Yarder.

The Phantom Of The Garden

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

Planting Bird Seed.

Farmer planting the next crop of PC's.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

Clown watering his flowers.

'Anything else need tying up?'

Football fan

Hipster Yard

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

'Those artificial flowers look so lifelike it's unusual.'