Fixture Fanatic Gifts

'And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Fetch.'

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

I quilt therefore I am

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Super Dog'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"I'm working from home today."

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

Alternative fielding positions

Football

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Get... a-nother room!"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

Big screen TV.

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'