Fitness Phony Gifts

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

In the Guru District

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Well, well, well...'

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Turn, turn and turn.

Muscles

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Yearbook

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Monica Seles

"We're exclusively delts."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Exercise Class

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Bench Press Accident

City Marathon.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"