Fitness Faker Gifts

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

"I programmed your fitness watch to tell the truth."

In the Guru District

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Well, well, well...'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Turn, turn and turn.

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

Yearbook

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

Monica Seles

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"