Fitness Freak Gifts

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

Patient sees smiling doctor and mean-looking doctor: 'Oh, I get it ? it's the old good cholesterol/bad cholesterol routine.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

'Wow! This zombie apocalypse is doing wonders for my fitness...'

England Captain Phil Vickery.

Breathless.

Witch has Exorcise Video.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Working out with heavy weights can be bad.

"All you do is binge watch."

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Dexy's Midnight Run

In the Guru District

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Well, well, well...'

Turn, turn and turn.

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'