Fitness Funster Gifts

How To Flatten Your Tummy

"It's improv night."

"I usually can't tell identical twins apart, but I think I can tell which one of you is already a member of our fitness center."

'I got stung by a thousand bees.'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

A man stands on the talking scale - 'One at a time please!'

Man doing pushups is eating pie.

'When I hit the wall, I want to be ready.'

"You reach your ideal body weight your way. I'll reach it my way."

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

Exercise equipment, my foot! I know a recliner when I see one! (Published originally on October 4, 2013.)

Baiting a trampolene with cake.

"It's about your cholesterol, Mrs Spratt"

'I stay in shape by running from anti-fur activists.'

Muscle Magazines For Video Gamers

'Using your workout video as a coaster for that huge dessert tells me you're off your diet.'

'Lose weight and they should drop out of orbit!'

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'I went jogging this morning - actually got as far as the front gate!'

'First thing in the morning you're going back to the shop!'

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

"I'm much better at exercising caution."

"That's not good: According to my chart, to reach the ideal weight for your age group, you need to put on 2000 kg..."

"Walter has decided to add years to his life."

Pole Vaulting Club

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Look at that, Peggy... I've got love handles on my spare tire!"

'Didn't I tell you that you were putting on weight?!'

"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."

'No buns of steel, but he does have a cast iron gut!'

Stationary treadmill.