Fitness Funnies Fan Gifts

"Is it working?"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

Fitness Programme for babies

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

Sisyphus during Covid

Exercise Bars

"I run around this high school track every morning."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

Reasonableman

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

Banana Yoga

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein