Retail Funster Gifts

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

Pirates

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'I'll have another flu shot.'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

Leopards do change their spots

The TROU of the Baroque

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

"You spoil that boy."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."