Corporate Funster Gifts

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

'My new year's resolution was to delegate more...So I delegated managing massively increased demands with drastically reduced resources in a flat-lining economy to George.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

Cheeze Wiz.

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

Pirates

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

Leopards do change their spots

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

The TROU of the Baroque

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

"Goodbye cruel world."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."