Retail Funster Mugs

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

Pirates

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'I'll have another flu shot.'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

"You spoil that boy."

Leopards do change their spots

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

The TROU of the Baroque

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."