Fitness Friends With A Laugh Gifts

'The deceased was a member of their running club.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'It's one of the less well known about dangers of a sedentary lifestyle!'

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

"Be nice to people climbing the wall, because you'll meet them again rappelling down."

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

"This recliner comes with a fitness tracker."

Cat Yoga.

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

Muscle Music.

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

Health Club: For Regular People

The online exercise class was going rather well.

Aquarobics.

'I want you to touch your toes ten times a day.'

Reasons to avoid training no.236 - A leaf on the path.

We're thinking about taking a dance class. You two should join us. How about square dancing? Not with this physique. You can't stick a round body into a square dance. Maybe salsa dancing? No, whenever I do anything with salsa I get a big mess. Ballet is also on our list. That's absurd. I'll tiptoe around that idea. And there's belly dancing! No, thanks, I get plenty of belly dancing every time I go up or down the stairs.

'That's all the runners except one. ... We'd better go check on him.'

"That's no double chin — that's a snowball!"

'I hate when I'm on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button and I have to get off & eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich.'

Ok, ok, if that's what you need to meet your daily goal, we can do 21 paces instead.

Fast food

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."

'Remember, you said if you could eat all the Thanksgiving dinner you wanted, you would jog for three hours.'

New Years Resolution.

'Don't be afraid to crowd the plate.'

"Oddly enough, It was swimming that hurt my back."

No reaching for another beer is not a yoga pose, Bob.

"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."

Unspeakable weight machine