Fish Enthusiast Gifts

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

"I live near Montauk point but I like to get into the city as often as possible."

"Pardon? Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking to someone else..."

I'm having trouble breathing.

Population explosion: 20th century and 21st century.

Fish trying to get food.

'What's our ETA?'

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

Freud at a crossroads: 'Psychoanalysis should relieve stress and anxiety...but so does looking at fish.'

"He never got over being rejected by John West'

'The water is fine and the food is great -- what I really need is a little privacy.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

"Private school. You can tell by the ties."

'Are you sure this fish is fresh?'

"That's it... Keep moving... Almost there... Don't look at me... Just a little more... Atta boy... Not far now... Don't look at me."

'But I thought this pond was bottomless.'

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

'Nanook! The roof is leaking again!'

'... 'Bite it,' I said. 'It's catch and release,' I said ... Now I feel horrible.'

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

Bob's Fresh Fish - "Cheapskate"

Cat drinking fish bowl water.

'Poor George-He can't get use to those contact lenses.'

Cat in diving gear, ready to dive into the fish tank.

'He said he'd get right back to me, but I'm not holding my breath.'

Fish snorkling above water.

'Stop complaining. You knew I was a funeral director when you married me.'

'I sure wish they would change my water!'

Fish caught between two lines.

The Guilty Conscience at a Seafood Restaurant.

"Well, any plans for the weekend so far?"

'My life is worth more than that!'

"I wouldn't be here now if I'd stayed in a school."

'Many people wondered how the figures in the NHS plan were arrived at!'