Fiscal Storyteller Gifts

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Fiscal cliff

Dollars Press Conference

Those who fail to learn from the past will be forced to relive it.

Pandora's box.

Basic Tax Law/Loopholes.

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

'If you kiss me, I'll cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to soar, manufacturing and trade data to re-accelerate, and housing to rebound significantly throughout the remainder of this and the next quarter.'

You think you have feelings of worthlessness? You ought to see my portfolio!

"Once upon a time, gold was 60 pounds an ounce."

"And that's how Twitter almost crashed the Dow."

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'

Business Fairy Tales.

Italy Shackled by the Euro Debt Crisis

Seven Economic Plans to Save Everybody. . . 'Any questions?'

Big Bad Wolf Foreclosure.

'I warned them! I told them the sky is falling! The sky is falling! But, this time nobody listened.'

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

'Stocks today remained unchanged on news 'the more things change, the more they stay the same''

"Pearson is known for his austere monetary views."

'Reducing the nation's debt helps everyone, rich & poor!'

'I'm too tired to hear the whole story. Who wins, the bear or the bull?'