Fiscal Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Debts or no debts, it still feels good to spend taxpayers' money.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

Fiscal cliff

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

Tax relief

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.