Fiscal Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Debts or no debts, it still feels good to spend taxpayers' money.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

Fiscal cliff

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"