Fiscal Fantasy Gifts

What is possible and what is probable.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

Currency Stimulus.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

Financial Advisor to client: 'Your portfolio still could earn money if you believe in the existence of junk bond elves.'

Tax Cuts Water the Economy.

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

The Pessimist, the Optimist and the Obamamist.

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

We'll be paying for his recovery for generations.

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

The world enters a global financial recession.

"No more stress!"

"Someday this will all be yours!"

Annual sleep disorder for tax accountants.

Bureau of Government Pork: 'Good Lord! Who's going to pay for all this!'

"I love the way you hide profits where only I can see them."

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

"Is it called a tax 'code' because it's difficult to decipher."

'I'm sorry. The possibility that you may have won $10 million in the sweepstakes won't do as collateral.'

Bert always found plenty of rubbish for his compost bin

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

"What do you mean 'It's only money'?"

"I can grant your wish for a billion dollars, but you can't wish away filling out an IRS Form W-9."

'I can turn base metal into gold, or if you prefer, a portfolio of securities, bonds and equity investments.'

Those wanting a balanced budget...