Financial Fantasy Gifts

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

What is possible and what is probable.

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

Financial Advisor to client: 'Your portfolio still could earn money if you believe in the existence of junk bond elves.'

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

Business Fairy Tales.

"In Heaven it does."

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

"What should you do? Here's what you should do: invent a time machine, go back sixteen months, and convert everything to cash."

Symbols of Wall St.

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'I'm sorry. The possibility that you may have won $10 million in the sweepstakes won't do as collateral.'

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

Bert always found plenty of rubbish for his compost bin

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

'I can turn base metal into gold, or if you prefer, a portfolio of securities, bonds and equity investments.'

"I can grant your wish for a billion dollars, but you can't wish away filling out an IRS Form W-9."

"He's been on a power trip since his fantasy stock portfolio outperformed Warren Buffett's actual portfolio."

'How to profit from a financial meltdown.'

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."

'We took a serious hit in commodities when Jack here decided to put our money into magic beans.'

'Okay, but just for argument's sake, let's say that it is the bank's business to know what you want the money for.'

'Ever wonder how you're going to pay off your school loan?'

'Just one question: How come my fantasy stock portfolio consistently out performs my actual portfolio?'

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