First Shave Pillows

Man having difficulty shaving

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'My feet are killing me.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Airport Security.

'Are we there yet?'

The World's Easiest Airport

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

Airplane Mode.

A private jet takes off

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

Drunk Barber

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Airport

Airliner

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"That's mine. No, wait - I have one that looks just like that."

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

Business man sees himself as a shark

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

Flight Socks.

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

Do it!