First Plant T-Shirts

Gardener

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"States of tofu"

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Cat Nip.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Garden Goddess.

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"I'm losing my patience with you."

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

The discovery of asparagus.

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

Botany Baby!

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Gardening#2

Mad about Roses!

Mantis Love

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

Hardy Annuals