Artificial Plants T-Shirts

'She looks good because it's not natural. It's all plastic.'

"Don't bother. Everything is artificial."

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Cat Nip.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Garden Goddess.

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"I'm losing my patience with you."

The discovery of asparagus.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Botany Baby!

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

'This flower won't let go of my nose.'

Gardening#2

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

Mantis Love