Artificial Garden Lover T-Shirts

"Don't bother. Everything is artificial."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Garden Goddess.

Bee flying to another flower.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

Cats and gardens.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Lawnmower

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

Et in Arcadia Ego

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

'Do you mind!!?'

Ecology

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"When I heard they legalized weeds, I wanted to be first on the block to let my lawn go."

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"It's too late to put your foot down. He's in love."

'Dog got your clog?'

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

Domestic Cats.

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

"Can't you do anything to hurry him up?"

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'