First Nudist Experience Gifts

'I've never done this before.'

"Privates Beach"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"I've got pride but no shame."

'Fancy a game of dress poker tonight darlin'?'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

Success often means distracting the competition.

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

'Finally I dare to go topless. I feel free!!!'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'You pluck one more feather and I'm going to stay with mother.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'Do Not Feed The Bares'

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

"If you get nervous up here, just picture everyone in the audience wearing clothes!"

If you find me an intimidating boss, try picturing me clothed.

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

"Great spot, Al. I didn't know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked."

Au Naturel Restaurant

"I put the price up after the local council decided to make it a nudist beach."

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

"Why yes. My husband does work in the construction industry! How on earth did you guess?"

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

"I told him nudism in space is a bad idea!"

'Why do you always insist on a NATURIST holiday?'

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

George was proving to be very popular with the ladies after taking-up nude pole vaulting!

'This is an ideal place - you're always saying you have nothing to wear.'

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'