First Live Performance Gifts

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Just be yourself."

Zombie standup

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Impressing dad.

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Comedy Cafe

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"This next one's another oldie."

Triangle

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Theatre Crowd

Baby Mozart.

"Bravo!"

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Piano Recital

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Bassoons.

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"Tong!"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"Free Bird!"

Eric Clapton.

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Plum jam...

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Ginger Baker.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."