Live Performance Goer Gifts

"I've had a request. Nonetheless, here's another song."

Zombie standup

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Comedy Cafe

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Mikado

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"Tong!"

"Free Bird!"

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Plum jam...

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Cello Concert

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'On the mathematics vaudeville circuit...' 'Fermat's last theorem - big deal! He only had two theorems!'

Strong Female Lead