First Kitchen Appliance Gifts

"This is the closest I've come to owning a car!"

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Too much cilantro

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Salt and Pepper

"You're never home."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

The Perfect Foil

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

The Inexperienced Cook

The secret lives of household things.