First Kitchen Gifts

The Inexperienced Cook

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Too much cilantro

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Too bright."

A DIY disaster.

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Salt and Pepper

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

The Perfect Foil

Moving in

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

Cook in the cookery section.

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Cooking

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Entertainment systems

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

'You made me jump.'

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...