First Courtroom Appearance Pillows

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Triangle

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Piano Recital

Baby Mozart.

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Barristers

"Bailiff."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

Star Wars Audience

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Love at First Sight.

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Arrogant junior barrister

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'