First Court Case Pillows

Barristers playing a joke

Barristers

'May I be honest with you?'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

Trial by Media

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'My feet are killing me.'

Romance

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Romance

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"She's just being Koi."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Asking out a palm reader.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Your place or mine?'