Court Case Pillows

Judge: 'I will not have this courtroom be turned into a circus! ... no matter how fun it may be.'

'I had your court case moved up to tomorrow. I want you to look your best.'

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

'It had a happy ending... the guy loses the girl, but finds a good attorney.'

"The Judge gave me a choice - marry his daughter or go to jail. You're looking at a happy man."

'Wait a minute — weren't you in here last month with a paternity suit?'

'There are plenty of entries, with lots of graphic detail, Mrs. Greer, but I don't think your husband's wine diary is sufficient evidence for divorce.'

"Please go easy on my client. He's suffered enough with all the internet shaming."

Trial by Media

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Barristers

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

Justice 4 Ron

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Sue The Bastards

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.