Legal Stories Pillows

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Barristers

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Wal-Mart Ruling

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Another slander suit!"

Justice 4 Ron

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

Keystone XL

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Counsel examining witness

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'