Courtroom Tales Pillows

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

Trial by Media

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"Now that's a win."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"We make crime pay."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"#notguilty."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Justice 4 Ron

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in what sense?'

Sue The Bastards

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'