First Meeting Pillows

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'It's me. Just checking to see if the phone number you gave me was real.'

"Melanie, this is my husband, Greg, and Greg's jacket from a previous marriage."

'We met on the Internet.'

Love at First Sight.

'Sylvia, what do you say we take the big step and see if we could really stand one another offline...?'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Romance

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Well, well, well...'

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'