First Class Fan Gifts

"At this time boarding first will be all first class passengers, a.k.a. the more important people on this flight."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

King George I

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Soldier armed with a pen.

TV jester.

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'The King of what?'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

King and Jester

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

"One blackbird pizza?"

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

"He keeps touching me!"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

'I was going to leak this to wikileaks. Then I thought, why not write a 'tell all' book instead?'

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'

"Personally I enjoyed your biting satire!"