First Book Report Gifts

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"Meet the author"

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'Is this your first book launch?'

Sumo Love.

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Mary Trump

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

Given seven minutes to finish, he flashed through the weekly report.

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

Meet the Authors

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

'The idea bureaucracy is on the increase is RIDICULOUS... and I have the reports to prove it!'

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

"...there's not a single shareholder...who will be able to understand any part of it!"

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

"It's about keeping the bunny alive within each of us."

'Overwhelm the facts with interpretation and have it on my desk Thursday.'

Kid reading report: 'My book report is on 'TV Guide'...'

"The sales figures are now in and I would like Tom to chew over them this weekend."

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

Hilary Mantel

The finance department finally achieved their ambition to produce a report that no-one could understand...