Firefighter Wannabe Gifts

"Cancel that call to tech-support. This may be beyond their capabilities."

"At this point I think your computer problems needs more than a fan."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Woman escapes with cats.

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

The New Normal

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Fire door.

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

No Smoking.

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'