Firefighter Fanatic Gifts

California fires and Coronavirus

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Woman escapes with cats.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

The New Normal

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"In a late breaking news story, our TV station is on fire."

"We should have stopped these green agitators from making predictions long before their predictions came true."

The man who discovered smoke

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

'Do you have to bring your work home with you?'

"I didn't know we were supposed to flush them!"

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

'Oh sure, he's the fastest in the west alright, until it comes to buying a round.'

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

"That's not fighting fire, it's wasting water!"

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

Heroes

The cost of wildfires

"Since he discovered fire, he's done nothing but binge-watch."

Fire Brigade Chiefs Annual Dinner

Hello, fire department and sundry municipal services. Help! Fire! It's the kitchen! Don't panic. Remain calm. Calm?! We've got a major grease fire. Hey, I can't be expected to do everything … What? Answer the phones, put out fires, clean the parks, garbage collection … What part of fire don't you understand?!

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

Dog prank

Coming to a crossroads in his life, Pinnochio faced a difficult decision.

'You, with the tattoo, you're free to go.'

"I got my wish!"

Fred found it was easier to blow torch leaves than rake them.