Fire Taming Trainee Gifts

"How do you turn it off?"

Woman escapes with cats.

Burnt or Raw?

"You like yours well done, right?"

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

The New Normal

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

'Bar-B-Q lit yet?'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"I can't find my box of magic tricks. Have you seen it?"

'Be careful, Vanessa, I think she's looking for trouble!'

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

'Virtual patient.'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"That's not fighting fire, it's wasting water!"

Athens wildfires

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'Well, if you don't like the way I cook it, you shouldn't have discovered fire, should you?!'

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

He's working his way up to lions!

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

"Trainee Baristas Queue Here"

Do as many study days as you can

'Or there's a budget treatment with one of our trainees...'

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

"Nothing better than a cosy brazer on a grim, wintry wind-blasted mountain top guard post."

Fire Brigade Chiefs Annual Dinner