Faithful Fire-fighter Gifts

Sign above fire extinguisher case says, 'In Case of Fire and Brimstone Break Glass'.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Woman escapes with cats.

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

The New Normal

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Fire door.

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

Burning love

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.