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"Hold on. This will make a killer insta story."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"Apparently we have an informant in our midst."

Bribery and Corruption.

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

"Rehearsal's off! Our first violinist was apprehended early this morning poaching clams in Great South Bay! The authorities have confiscated her rake and long tongs!"

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

'That's him. Number 3 is the one who attacked me.'

Law 'N' Order

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

FBI Message: Are you still working under-covers?

'Our crime figures are down!'

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

The man who discovered smoke

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'