Finishing First Semester Gifts

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

Computer Room.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

Do your research!

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

University Soapflakes

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

Now showing, at a University near you...

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

Super Student

Examinations.

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'